How To Conquer Your Fear
What if I told you fear is a result of a lack of knowing? You may want to know the outcome but obviously, you can’t predict the future so you are in fear of moving forward. Maybe you never learned to ride a bike so you are scared to get on one. Fear is not some big nasty thing everyone wants you to believe exists. How to conquer your fear is to realize it is an indicator, that’s it.
Fear can be a great motivator. But it can also demotivate you, stop you in your tracks, and possibly destroy you. Each and every one of us has something we fear that has stopped us from moving forward. To conquer fear is to conquer an aspect of you, move forward, and gain the knowledge necessary.
You most likely have a dream you would love to make come true. But what stops you? Not knowing if it’s going to work out? The lack of knowledge to start a business, or even get started? When we fear something we lack knowledge. Maybe you don’t know how to close a deal, or you don’t know how to talk to people and expand your network.
Fear, when used correctly, serves as an indicator. It will heighten your awareness, get you ready to do battle, and tell you to walk the other way. In some cases, this is absolutely necessary and you should listen. But when we aren’t walking down dark allies or running into battle, fear serves a different purpose.
Fear will cause you to hesitate and bring up the fact that you lack the knowledge to complete the task. Think about it, when was the last time you feared moving toward your dream. You didn’t move forward because you probably were unclear on how to do it or if you would be successful.
No one can tell you if you are going to be successful. But the best way to ensure your success is to listen to your fear.
Open Your Ears Not Your Eyes
Listening is much more than just, hearing someone talk. I want you to really sense everything about your fearful situation. Listen to your mind, take in how your body feels, how your heart and stomach react.
Listen to what your fears are telling you. Write them down. You will see after doing this that there are certain trinkets of knowledge you lack. But you have to be willing to listen.
Most of us get stuck because of our pride and ego get in the way. They both play a game in your mind letting you know how awesome you are, and that you don’t need to waste your time. Moving you from the excitement of moving forward to a nice comfy couch where your safe and sound. Back to being stuck.
Not everyone is a badass at everything, not everyone has all the answers. The “know it all” types, should be avoided at all costs, they are your worst enemy. But yet it never fails every time you are looking to move in the direction you have always wanted to move. Certain people are more than willing to give their opinion without hesitation.
If your people are not offering solutions or congratulations or they bring up all the reasons it will never work. Listen to yourself, do you feel good or bad? Like your excitement was just ripped out and stepped on? Do you feel defeated or exhausted?
In any case, you should feel empowered not defeated, bad, or exhausted. You don’t need these things in your life. If a person doesn’t want to try and solve problems with you or they only bring up the reasons it will never work. Ditch them.
The list is like a road map
Use what you wrote down as a road map. You are listening to yourself and writing down why you have a fear associated with the situation. But it is no good if you can’t utilize what you’re writing.
When I was in the SEAL Teams during my first platoon I was chosen to be the lead communicator on a training exercise. This was it, I was being seen as somebody useful, this was my chance. I was super excited to prove myself, making sure to pack everything I needed.
When we got out in the field I quickly realized I had forgotten something very critical to the training exercises success. The memory card for the camera. WTF!! How was I supposed to store pictures now?
I was in fear of getting scolded but my platoon chief, and being put on lifetime cleaning duty. I started to list off in my head what I did have to make this happen. What I realized is that I could link the camera to the computer and store the photos. Yes, it made it harder but it got the job done.
Instead of imploding on myself, I chose to make a mental list (I didn’t have paper in the middle of nowhere so I had to make a mental list). I used this list as a roadmap of things to consider. I have a computer, a USB capable, a Camera fully charged, and software to take photos. Putting everything together, and soon discovering I had everything I needed. Mission Success.
Don’t scoff at the roadmap it has the keys to your success, take it seriously and it will give you serious results.
Shut Your Ego Up
Your ego is just a big ball of BS. It will tell you what you want to hear, it will never tell you what you need to hear. But don’t blame your ego completely, you designed it that way.
I had an ego issue for many years before I hit rock bottom and was forced to look back and reflect. When I reflected back I saw my self-destruction develop over time. At the center was my ego telling me I don’t need this or that. It was always there telling me how awesome I was or how much better I was, or how opportunities were a waste, it never failed.
As we go through life we have various experiences, these experiences develop everything about us. You jump out of a plane, land safely now you tell yourself you’re unstoppable. You don’t study for math but get an unexpected “A” in Math now you tell yourself you’re a Mathematician.
These things are awesome when they happen, but be honest with yourself. By being honest and telling yourself the real story your ego has no ammunition. The ego likes to live in a false reality of you, giving you whatever perception keeps you small and safe.
The worst part of your ego is when it tells you to worry about what everyone else thinks. Maybe these sound familiar, “If I do this I will be exposed”, “I might get made fun of”, “If I fail I will be ridiculed”.
First off, no one’s opinion matters and instead look at it this way. You have the courage to take a step towards your dream. They most likely do not. Go ahead ask them, they probably don’t even know the first thing associated with what you’re trying to do. Their fears are being projected onto you, their own ego, insecurities, and self-doubt are trying to stop you.
Just don’t listen.
The Right People
First and foremost remember this is your life and it does not matter what someone else thinks of you. Because I guarantee if that person who chooses to judge you started something new they would have fear as well. As it was said before they are most likely too afraid to take the first step so they choose to project onto you and try and stop you.
These are the wrong people to be around. Anyone that has gone for their dreams, been successful, and knows what it takes will never try and stop you. They know how freeing it can be and fulfilled you will be by taking that step.
You need inspiration, not disenchantment. Believe me, you will get a true sense for who someone is when you tell them what you’re doing and then just listen to what they have to say. Is it supportive or destructive? Do not settle for anything less than supportive, you don’t need limitations or negativity in your life.
Putting Fear To Bed
Fear is natural, it is a defense mechanism, created from the environment we grew up in. You can’t demolish your fear mechanism, and you shouldn’t want to. When harnessed correctly or even interpreted correctly, fear will indicate to you what you need to do next.
Nothing about fear is there to harm you it is there to give you a path, as long as you are willing to listen. Fear will be more than happy to tell you what you need to know before you move forward.
Isn’t that nice you have a built-in map maker. The key is that you don’t allow your ego to get in the way of your process. Ego is keyed up by fear, it knows this is the perfect time to drive a wedge, expose your insecurities and put you right back on the couch.
You are a powerful person and remember you created your fear, so you are in control of it. Your ego is a part of you so you can control it. You are in control at all times. Be willing to take the first step, listen and write down what your fear indicates. Read your map of things to accomplish, tell your ego to take a hike and get new people if necessary.
The First Step
You have everything you need to make your first step reality right now. All you have to do is take action. But I get it sometimes taking action is the hardest part it is safer and more comfortable just to think about it. However, you were put on this planet to do great things. You were meant to lead and inspire. By doing this you could change every aspect of everyone around you and people you don’t even know.
Get moving now, and if you’re unsure where to start. Get a free copy of the 10 Steps to Mental Strength List and never be destroyed by fear or ego again. You are in charge, take charge now.